This page conserves the character fiction forum of the Agora forums. The posts have been left unformatted to make it easier for users to copy them here and paste them into the new forums.
|Oren Itano||oren||12/10/08 18:25||View|
|The backstory of Vulpes.||Vulpes||12/11/08 01:46||View|
|Erica Kessel||Erica Kessel||12/11/08 07:52||View|
|Missy's Story.. a Do-over and another Chapter||Missy||12/11/08 22:38||View|
|Kwekwe's Backstory||Kwekwe Karu||12/12/08 01:02||View|
|Eternal Sunset||Missy||12/13/08 12:19||View|
|Kit Ristow||12/14/08 00:01||View|
|Missy's Story Continued..Part 3||Missy||12/16/08 08:43||View|
|Missy's Story Part 4: Innocence Shattered||Missy||12/16/08 18:34||View|
|Missy's Story Part 5: Innocence Annihilated||Missy||12/18/08 17:16||View|
|Small Dangers||Vox||12/18/08 21:36||View|
|Saint of The Abyss: Part 1||Luciferiel||12/19/08 05:21||View|
|Zero....-1||Justa Zero||12/19/08 17:38||View|
|Zero....1||Justa Zero||12/19/08 18:26||View|
|Óðr’s Daughter. Chapter I: A Guiding Dream||Asil Karu||12/20/08 02:39||View|
|Omega To Alpha||erinnic||12/23/08 16:49||View|
|Her Bloody Tears [-Past Event-]||Methias||12/23/08 18:09||View|
|Lost Kitsune - A Shattered Mind||Kiera||12/25/08 18:51||View|
|Usr's story Part IV||UsrBinPerl||12/27/08 20:34||View|
|The Essex||Heir Maelstrom||12/29/08 04:23||View|
|Kwekwe's shame||Kwekwe Karu||12/30/08 18:11||View|
|Joint Round Robin Fic Anyone...?||erinnic||12/30/08 19:07||View|
|God Was On Her Lips As She Died||erinnic||01/02/09 23:31||View|
|Love and Betrayal - A New Beginning||kessjuliesse||01/03/09 13:46||View|
|The Diary of Cody Woodhen||codywoodhen||01/05/09 21:35||View|
|Missy's Story Part 6: Innocence Abducted||Missy||01/07/09 06:23||View|
|Cursed Blade||Yannis_Martynov||01/08/09 21:27||View|
|Story Thread: Community Round Robin Fic||erinnic||01/09/09 23:25||View|
|The demon within||Canly Fargis||01/11/09 16:14||View|
|Ziau- CoLA's Very Own Casanova||Ziau||01/13/09 02:09||View|
|Twisted Attentions||erinnic||01/21/09 20:34||View|
|Inspiration- music and roleplay||Ziau||01/26/09 08:01||View|
|Compilation! Where were you when it all happened?||Ziau||01/28/09 09:12||View|
|The Clock Struck Midnight||Malice Ashdene||01/28/09 22:31||View|
|With Precision- a poem by Kelly Welch A.k.A Ziau Jua.||Ziau||01/29/09 04:36||View|
|Alisa's dicovery of a new world (character sheet + story)||Alisa Draconia||01/30/09 19:17||View|
|The Shadow Stepper- Ziau the Enshadowed.||Ziau||02/01/09 07:26||View|
|Krista Lemon arrives to the streets of Lost Angels||Krista||02/03/09 00:09||View|
|Back Story Upto the Excile of Rune.||RuneCrimson||02/03/09 21:59||View|
|War with the Brood, war with the Coven, and the Pack.||Ziau||02/07/09 04:11||View|
|-- Halcyon's Backstory --||Halcyon Nacht||02/08/09 00:22||View|
|Planer/Exonar family (aka, Erinyse, Khalan, Viridian, Cummere, Selena)||Cummere Mayo||02/08/09 03:53||View|
|Kit's Backstory||Kit Ristow||02/10/09 18:40||View|
|Eyes in the Dark||Keyla||02/11/09 09:47||View|
|Surfacing Part I||Llyr||02/13/09 22:21||View|
|Surfacing Part II||Llyr||02/13/09 22:35||View|
|Tama-Chan: A Cat's Story (Tamara's background)||Tamara||02/17/09 07:35||View|
|Project: A map of Post Apocalypse North America||Tamara||02/17/09 19:21||View|
|Dreamtime Revelations||Winter||02/19/09 18:08||View|
|Reaver-the echo of the Blackwind||AntiZero||02/23/09 00:43||View|
|On the Origin of Species||Tamara||02/25/09 22:38||View|
|Confession||Kit Ristow||02/26/09 01:39||View|
|Personnel File: Pointe, Zsuzsanna C. (Inactive, Deceased)||Su Pointe||02/26/09 03:32||View|
|Malice, in a Different Kind of Wonderland||Malice Ashdene||02/27/09 18:07||View|
|The Dark of Inspiration||Kit Ristow||03/01/09 21:42||View|
|Jheric: Crucified||Kayle Ashdene||03/03/09 10:53||View|
|It's my life||arsene_Braveheart||03/05/09 18:18||View|
|The Tradgedy of the Hybrid||Digital Enigma||03/29/09 07:09||View|
|The Sin of Wrath||molly switchblade||04/02/09 21:28||View|
|Golden Boy||Ephran Ehrler||04/15/09 06:12||View|
|Story About A Girl||Aesendria||04/24/09 15:34||View|
|Climaxe by Smith and Wesson||Sloan||04/28/09 06:19||View|
|My new project ATTENTION Russian Characters!||Ziau||05/01/09 06:42||View|
|**NSFW** A Typical Tuesday Night for Missy||Missy||05/06/09 20:48||View|
|Post your profile links!||Cortero Landar||05/07/09 10:25||View|
|Making Logan Suffer||Aesendria||05/12/09 07:09||View|
|Jeanne Varun||Jeanne Varun||05/14/09 08:24||View|
|The Vanguard's True Purpose||Logan||05/16/09 01:03||View|
|Cortero's Infernal Armor||Cortero Landar||05/16/09 06:52||View|
|Bookstore Surprise||Aesendria||05/16/09 23:16||View|
|Post your profile links if you have in-story info in them!||Cortero Landar||05/18/09 10:33||View|
|Cyber Evolution Bios, Anur Seda, Cyber Reaper, and Commander of CE||Theassassin||06/08/09 11:28||View|
|Was any of it real?||Youko_Giha||06/12/09 15:28||View|
|A shift in priorities||Logan||06/17/09 04:21||View|
|Going home||Ludvig||06/17/09 19:10||View|
|'Ren in Japan||oren||06/18/09 23:11||View|
|Thelma across the board||ThelemaJuliesse||06/26/09 15:09||View|
|Pre-fiction: How Kayteear got here.||Kayteear||07/15/09 16:43||View|
|Story Time||Charissa||07/17/09 19:03||View|
|Pack Airship RP.||Tai||07/27/09 02:49||View|
|My Character||Lilith13||08/05/09 22:34||View|
|The Haunter in the Dark||Shadow||08/14/09 21:50||View|
|The Flying Heads||Kwekwe Karu||08/16/09 16:52||View|
|Why selling coffins is impossible in CoLA||Ziau||08/23/09 04:14||View|
|Paint it red!||Ziau||08/23/09 07:51||View|
|Young Cowards.||Ziau||08/23/09 08:28||View|
|Great video for RPers and people passionate about writing.||Ziau||09/05/09 08:55||View|
|Dux - 264 BC||Dux||09/10/09 18:41||View|
|The Thing at South Gate Sanitarium||Shadow||09/15/09 22:09||View|
|♪♫ Do you wanna RP my avatar ♪♫||Kayteear||09/17/09 14:45||View|
|Jessica's Mother||Jessica Susser||09/21/09 04:19||View|
|Ziau Challenged me to. NSFW||ChasityDawes||09/21/09 07:17||View|
|The Divine Machine.................||Theassassin||09/21/09 22:29||View|
|I Bleed my Blood for Myself.||Ziau||09/22/09 22:28||View|
|Cronicle of a death||Kayteear||09/24/09 01:34||View|
|"Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself"||DavidJoshua Artful||09/26/09 17:07||View|
|Old Versus New||Digital Enigma||09/27/09 20:28||View|
|The Shadowed Order, The Eternal Order, Ordo Machina||Theassassin||10/06/09 06:55||View|
|Elamyrath's History||Elamyrath||10/10/09 00:52||View|
|The here, the now, the dead. The Minus.||TheMinus Ziskey||10/10/09 12:41||View|
|Before bed ritual.||Amy Guisse||10/17/09 04:13||View|
|IS this High School again?||Theassassin||10/24/09 12:49||View|
|Sidhe vs Drow||Orlok Lectar||10/29/09 04:08||View|
|Daddy blues||arsene_Braveheart||11/17/09 19:01||View|
|Chronicles of SIE||agentlyseria||11/22/09 12:27||View|
|The Lady In Black(A Drokan Exile Twisted Love Story)||AntiZero||11/29/09 06:36||View|
|The growing Darkness.||Leirain Koray||12/01/09 11:04||View|
|The lycan||Kayteear||12/01/09 16:00||View|
|City of Lost Jackman: The Untold Hollywood Blockbuster||AntiZero||12/02/09 07:11||View|
|Coming home for christmas ..||Kes||12/10/09 22:17||View|
|Bunneh Vs. Lich, DBZ style||Karsha Yutani||12/14/09 11:59||View|
|A Farewell||Roland||12/16/09 20:50||View|
|Of Death and Rebirth||Digital Enigma||12/21/09 20:14||View|
|The Story of Reoco||Reoko Farspire||02/06/10 20:47||View|
|Homecoming......... The Story of Orpheus Darkfold||OrpheusDarkfold||03/11/10 02:27||View|
|The Story of Orpheus Part 2||OrpheusDarkfold||03/13/10 23:15||View|
|Who owns who?||Kayteear||03/22/10 22:03||View|
|Missing the Ocean||ricercar||03/23/10 22:27||View|
|Letter to the editor: Manners in LA||Tink||03/25/10 16:58||View|
|Chasity Backstory||ChasityDawes||06/14/10 19:43||View|
|Something Black and Violent...||DavidJoshua Artful||06/19/10 22:23||View|
|Doctor Visit||erinnic||07/12/10 04:26||View|
|Gabby Perdide||vacantghost||07/19/10 04:42||View|
|Dux||No one knew why this war had started just that we would win it or die trying, our Garrison had been slaughtered by the Carthaginian dogs and they would pay. I had promised the consul to hold Sicily and so I would, even if I was to burn the whole island to do so.|
The letter had come 7 days earlier with a runner from the Senate bearing the consuls insignia on it, we were to move out immediately and take all the regulars with us, this meant that we could not muster our cavalry in time and they would have to catch up with us as we marched.
The men was pushed hard they walked briskly 30 mile a day, some could not keep up due to injuries and exhaustion but they would be picked up by the caravan of supply and medical carts trailing behind, by the time we reached the shores of Sicily we had almost lost another garrison but nothing short of an act of the gods would stop us now, vendetta was in our blood.
The specialist corps had headed out in front and prepared the passing to the fateful island. It was that night at the shores I saw her the first time, she seemed to be a simple peasant woman trying to keep what little food she had left from the legion, I rode up to her house and chased off the Ventri that were trying to collect food, and excusing to her for their insubordinate behaviour, she looked at me with an intensity I had never seen before, her eyes was seemed to be glowing in the night and her voice was like ambrosia to my ears as she thanked me for the help, it was almost deafening in its intoxication and nearly made me fall off my horse. The horse was not happy with her at first which was strange, this battle hardened steed had properly seen more wars then me and yet it was scared of this woman. Riding back to camp I could not get her eyes out of my vision and her voice lingered in my mind as a muse singing.
The legion marched into battle 3 days later with the full force of the Roman might, short of our cavalry which had been stopped dead by massive waves in the usually calm waters between the mainland and us, the gods was truly watching this spectacle and we were about to give them a show that no man had ever seen before, a battle field with nearly 5000 men strong on each side, a sight you could only dream of, and we would win I could feel it in every cohort, in every man. The battle did not start until dusk, for some reason the foreign dogs would not attack, they just stood there taunting yelling and screaming for hours, they did not quiet until my second ordered the legion to start singing in unison. The voices of our soldiers roared and their stomps shook the ground, swords clanging against the shields, it was enough to give everyone chills and make most of the enemies stop their taunting, even a few broke and fled.
The light fell early as clouds drew in over the the area and the battle started as the dark sound of their horns bellowed to the sky. Racing to our front lines the masses plunged into the spears and shields, the files were holding ground as wave after wave clashed upon our Roman rock. Our lines were being rotated faster then usual, looking to my advisor, he informed that they were getting depleted fast, we would have to make a move or we would break. It was at that time out of the corner of my eye I spotted what their tactics was. They were stalling with the onslaught so that a tactical force could outflank us, their futility was worse then our depletion, quickly I ordered the arches to turn on the flank and rain steel on them. It was at that moment of impact that I knew we had lost.
The cloud of arrows darkened even the clouded sky and as they impacted on the enemy units but they just stood there. waiting and then continued on, most of them must have had 10 or more arrows dug deeply into them, they pulled them out and shrugged it off like it was nothing, the next thing I saw was our right flank getting torn into, I have seen blood on the battle field before but this was stunning, the artillery master ordered the balistas and catapults to fire tar bombs and fire bolts into the right flank to stop the unraveling, but it was over as quickly as it had started....
The smoke was crawling heavy over the battlefield from the still burning tar bombs, in the distance you could hear the screams of men slowly dying, their pleads for help as the triarii walked the fields and mercifully killed the ones that could not be saved, it was the worst job but also the most honourable one to do, and only the veterans would ever be handed this task.
None the less it was a sight that would be burned into their already battle hardened minds, there was something else on these fields, whispers, shadows, maybe it was the gods that had come to bring home the men that had fought valiantly.
Lying in the mud of dirt and blood I was hoping they would bring me to Valhalla, though I was a Roman officer, my flesh and mind had always been Norse, the gods and goddesses had a profound influence on me when I fought they chanted and sang with the clang of my blade they cheered when an enemy fell to my hand, hopefully Odin's Valkyries would bring me home.
I could not feel my right leg as it was crushed under the horse and my chest was hurting profoundly, slipping in and out of consciousness I tasted my blood with every ragged breath that I failed to complete, the bubbling wheezing of perforated lungs filled my ears.
There she was again the old woman of the land, was she to be my guide to the other side, she could not possible be here with the oceans in uproar, no one could have come from the mainland, yet I heard her voice in my head loud and clear, it was as she was taking the pain away, I opened my eyes, it was her but she was different she had a vigor about her that she did not have before and her eyes were sharp and clear like they could look through my soul, she was talking again but I could not hear her, the tormented frown on my face must have stopped her , she looked intensely at my chest, or where it should have been, it was clear to the sky that I had been torn open by some ferocious creature, baring my insides. her voice sang inside my head again and she was not wording it, asking me if I wanted the gift. What gift could she possible give a man that was about to travel to the other side, her answer was as swift as my dazed mind could handle.
The gift of eternal life, every fiber in my shredded body screamed yes but all that came from my lips was blood and a bit of air. She put her hand lightly on my crushed skull and kissed me, it all most seamed like she was drinking my last breath but I did not mind, not now. An eerie calm fell around us as she bend in over and flung the horse away with a single hand freeing me, I must have had a terrified expression because the next I heard was her soul opening up to me swallowing me in a comforting darkness with the last words I remember whispered to me "drink, drink all that you can, you will need it".
The long and lone travel over the oceans of life and death was shrouded in a cover of silence and images, like passing through a fog of souls stuck in the beyond, as I traveled to the dark side with your mind and soul guiding me through the silent night, ever calling for me to join the ranks of damned. Finally I found my husk again and flowed into it with a vigor and strength that I had never felt before, I opened my eyes to meet her face close to me, she had never left my side for a moment, a broad smile crossed her sweet dark deathly lips as she felt me come back, and her velvet voice carried me back to life again.
As I opened my eyes I saw her over me sitting there in the darkness, her mind had enveloped us and concealed us from the world, there was only two beings left, a unity of soul and blood, and she whispered softly,if I would join her in the ranks of damnation, I could not resist the power and lust she had shown me, it filled me with something I had not felt in a long time not even as a living being. My eyes filled with hunger as my mind screamed yes now and forever, even though my lips merely manage to rasp a low yes again , she felt it, you have my soul my lady now and forever. Slowly I managed to raise my hand to her face to make sure she still was real, feeling the warmth of her skin on my hands made me smile even more, you are here...
The nightmares haunted me for endless days, strange tales of the abyss, the monsters that lived there, the wars, the excommunication of heavens, but also the sense of belonging to something huge, to a collective and when ever I thought I would be lost in them the voice brought me back, guiding my feeble mind.
I woke up screaming in complete darkness in a cold murky cave, not being able to see or hear anything around me but the sounds of water dripping from above. There she was again sitting on a stone at the other end of the cave, her glowing eyes blinking. She walked over and sat down next to me "how are you feeling" she asked in an almost whisper, I did not know but I had no pain so the words that came bumbling of my lips "I feel no pain" she smiled and caressed my head "you have been asleep for nearly a month, you know".
My startled look must have amused her because for the first time I heard her laughter, it sang as it echo both in my head and the cave, carrying all the emotions in the human spectra and even some that were still incomprehensible to me at the time.
Slowly my vision became better and it seemed that the cave was getting brighter, I could see the contours of the rock and once again I could see her face, it was then I realized that I had not saved her from the soldiers but the other way around, my gesture had been unneeded, I wondered for a long while, why she had allowed me to do it.
Sitting up it dawned on me that my legs was fully functional and with the sudden grasp to my chest as if my heart and intestines was about to fall onto the floor made her laugh again, she enjoyed the emotions, fears and confusion that I was pumping into the cave, it was like she was drinking it up, "not to worry my officer, you are completely healed and have been so for well over 2 weeks now".
She must have enjoyed my utter ignorance and disbelief again, because with every sentence she spoke it drew a new face on me and it was completed with laughter from her. She excused herself for laughing at me and all I could return was "I am still confused why you chose me over the others on the field", a more serious thought swept over her face as she started to tell about what really had happened on the fields.
It was no ordinary battle and the Brujah broke the rules. she said, they wanted dominance over the whole Mediterranean area but the Ventrue rulers in Rome would not allow it, they called for a meeting of the Clans to get the council to condemn the actions that the Brujah have taken. Brujah, council, Ventrue who are all of these?, my thoughts were a flurry but far in the back the names seemed to make sense and emotions formed with them, she looked again at my face as the blood memories began to surface, and then she continued.
The council voted to call for our help, that is the only reason that you are still alive, I am an envoy of the 7 embodied in an Antediluvian, and so are you now, I am your Lady, you Mistress and guide.
The immediate reaction inside of me was that of disbelief, not that she was a Demon but that she should be my Mistress, but that came to a jarring halt as her piercing eye struck me and with a low growl snarled "forget what you know of the world, you men are not superior to my form, and you will be wise never to forget that".
|Missy||Ohhh.. very cool Dux! I enjoyed it a lot. I can tell you are writing quite quickly.. that your thoughts are flowing fast as you put them on paper. Your descriptions of the battlefield are very vivid. I'd be terrible at writing those... I'm not much one for blood and guts sorts of things, but I can appreciate the talents of others. Keep sending us some more!||09/10/09 19:45|
|oren||Excellent. You paint a vivid picture little one. I'll let you live another day for amusing me.|
BTW-- exasperation should probably be exhaustion, arrow's should be arrows, "gods and and goddesses had and profound influence" there's an extra and, also the third and should be an a, "the oceans in uproar no one could have come from the mainland" you either need a comma after uproar or you need at add an before uproar, "Our lines were being rotated faster then usual, looking to my advisor, he informed that they were getting depleted fast, we would have to make a move or we would break, it was at that time out of the corner of my eye I spotted what their tactics was, they were stalling with the onslaught so that a tactical force could outflank us, their futility was worse then our depletion, quickly I ordered the arches to turn on the flank and rain steel on them. It was at that moment of impact that I knew we had lost." is quit a long sentence, it has several natural breaks in it, you might consider dividing it up for clarity, "concealed us for the world" for should be from, "and she whispered if I would join her in the ranks of damnation" is pretty unclear, might I suggest "and she whispered softly, would I join her in the rank of damnation" or at least I think that's what you were going for, "a cold musky cave" did you mean murky, musty? or did you really mean musky which implies animal scents?, also, in that same paragraph you start to use quotation marks to highlight speech, you didn't do that anywhere else in the story, so for clarity you might want to pick a style-- I suggest using quotation marks throughout, "human spectra and even some that was still incomprehensible " was should be were, "the brujah has taken" you capitalized Brujah everywhere else, and this should be have, not has, "Antediluvian" is spelled "Antediluvian"
|Dux||[quote=oren]Excellent. You paint a vivid picture little one. I'll let you live another day for amusing me.|
BTW-- exasperation should probably be exhaustion, arrow's should be arrows, "gods and and goddesses had and profound influence" there's an extra and, also the third and should be an a, "the oceans in uproar no one could have come from the mainland" you either need a comma after uproar or you need at add an before uproar, "Our lines were being rotated faster then usual, looking to my advisor, he informed that they were getting depleted fast, we would have to make a move or we would break, it was at that time out of the corner of my eye I spotted what their tactics was, they were stalling with the onslaught so that a tactical force could outflank us, their futility was worse then our depletion, quickly I ordered the arches to turn on the flank and rain steel on them. It was at that moment of impact that I knew we had lost." is quit a long sentence, it has several natural breaks in it, you might consider dividing it up for clarity, "concealed us for the world" for should be from, "and she whispered if I would join her in the ranks of damnation" is pretty unclear, might I suggest "and she whispered softly, would I join her in the rank of damnation" or at least I think that's what you were going for, "a cold musky cave" did you mean murky, musty? or did you really mean musky which implies animal scents?, also, in that same paragraph you start to use quotation marks to highlight speech, you didn't do that anywhere else in the story, so for clarity you might want to pick a style-- I suggest using quotation marks throughout, "human spectra and even some that was still incomprehensible " was should be were, "the brujah has taken" you capitalized Brujah everywhere else, and this should be have, not has, "Antediluvian" is spelled "Antediluvian"[/quote]
Thanks Missy :)
And thanks Oren for the corrections that fell through the half eyed proof reading, I corrected most of them ;)